Saturday, June 11, 2005


-- June 11th, 2005 --

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In this life you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. In these past two years, I have been blessed to be able to form relationships with people who are doing something with themselves. In some regards, I have been able to do the same. So in that sense, I am blessed as well.

The only fear that I have is... "making it" -- which is interesting because the people who encompass my circle express no fear, only an absolute concrete belief that it is truly a matter of time when it will be what it is. G.P., Blitz, Danya, Kim -- they all in one way or another have their plans in action. I am worried that I will fall short behind those who I am associated with. Excuses are intolerable -- you have read stories or known someone who has been from Smalltown, U.S.A. to make it bigger than big. So with me being from Nowheresville, Ohio -- is not excuse. Knowledge is the thing that I lack. With such an abundance of it in the form of the Internet, books, even television -- I don't know what the problem really is.

In these days and times it is success that is highlighted everywhere. You can look anywhere; music, television, magazines -- it all screams that you have to be a somebody or else you're a nobody. I think that this should trouble the youth of America. It places a value that you have to be a "personality" instead of being an individual. Question: Would you rather be a Doctor or Dr. Dre? Would you rather be a janitor or Michael Jordan? I mean -- honestly, I'd take Jay-Z lifestyle and prestige over going to my college classes any day. But why? How did it become that way? I mean, I love the media -- I love the message that it delivers when it is honest and pure. I believe nowadays the media isn't fair and balanced. reported a few days ago that journalists are a part of the least respected jobs in America. Firefighters and Scientists being the number one and two professions. Now, mind you -- that is respected not desired...

All I would like is to be able to have the focus and discipline to be able to accomplish the goals that I am beginning to set forth for myself... AND... to be able to be respected for it. I do not want to be the one left behind due to ignorance and negligence. I have hangups about a few things in my life aside from whether or not the rest of my existence will depend on having a day job (9 to 5) or will I be living the life of a true entrepreneur. Such as -- will my relationship not be like others in present-day 21st century?

Hardly do you hear about marriages that last -- this world today seems to thrive from negativity. Fights on "Real World," paternity tests on "Maury Povich," random acts of violence on the morning, afternoon, AND evening news -- it is like you cannot escape the inevitable. I am only hoping that my relationship does not fall into that same basket. I love my girlfriend, it is to be our anniversary on Sunday. I begin to think to myself, beginning to hope and pray that God has great things in store for her and I and that I am able to make this last. I am a burden to deal with, everyone knows that, and I am trying to work in the best interests of my girlfriend -- and neglecting my own. Is it a sacrifice? Or is it not letting the one you love in? I don't know.

What I do know is that I love my girlfriend and have bent over backwards to make sure that she has a smile on her face. She is my heart. And I love her. I aspire to give her the World.


Blogger Kelley Webb said...


I completely understand where you are coming from. Although, I am afraid that once I succeed I will not be able to sustain that success, but I do believe that hard work will pay off. Plus I am still trying to find my passion. Corporate America is not for me. I am more purposed to help people.

Everything will work out. You just have to have faith, which is harder said than done. But it will.
Such is life.

Kelley N. Webb... don't forget my b-day is Thrusday. Yay!

June 13, 2005 at 6:18 AM

Blogger Dayrell said...

Yes, I identify as well. But one thing you must not do is compare yourself to your peers. That's a definite no-no. DEF no-no.

Good luck. You know I have faith in ya.


June 15, 2005 at 2:38 PM


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