Sunday, May 29, 2005

"The End Is Just The Beginning..."

-- May 30th, 2005 --

Happy Memorial Day to all those who celebrate the occasion. War is not a beautiful thing at all. Too many soldiers dying for a cause that very few believe in. Yes, those men and women are doing their duty, but in the words of System of a Down -- "Why must they send the poor?" Bush is a coward -- for how big he talks, would he have the grapefruits to strap up and duke it out with the big bad terrorists?!! Just food for thought.

Life is a series of mistakes, opportunities, blessings, and fun all blended into a beautiful montage that only lasts as fast as you can blink. I am not a saint, never claimed to be -- only know that I can learn from my mistakes and change my path. What I seen this weekend is that I love Love. I am growing up. Yes, I know -- kind of late, to be 23 more sooner than later and not grown is kind of late blooming, but... better late than never. Family is more important to me than ever. My girlfriend's mother was talking about how her youngest grandson considers me family and whenever to conversations are such -- he interjects my name into the convo. (Good looking out, nephew... only two and you ridin' for those you love, that's a good sign) -- I was looking at this day with a fresh pair of eyes, new senses coursing through my veins. In the end, I saw it as a new beginning -- I love my family... as a whole. Sitting there in the plush seat, being in the company of good people, I thought back to my mother -- wondering what it is that she's doing. Feeling bad that she may be neglected. Not knowing if anyone is there for her. My father works, my sister is not in town, and I am spending my time with my girlfriend's family. She doesn't deserve that -- to be alone. Hell, no one does -- but it's a tug-of-war that I wish never was.

The situation that put things in place where they are is not really the issue -- the point is that they're engrained to the limit where it's concrete. I hate what it is. Dwelling on it now I cannot believe that this is where I am at -- especially at the true "beginning" of my life (which is so beautiful). A cookout could've been had in unison if certain components weren't missing. Ahh... I'm getting off track. Yes... I love my family. Both my own and the one that I wish to be a part of. The only feeling of the blues I have is that neither one can experience the happiness that I have inside for both parties. Will those circumstances that keep those apart ever change? I honestly think not. Sorry, I don't mean to down y'all -- let me get to the nitty-gritty. Today, I felt a part of a collective -- a feeling that I normally do not have when I am in my own residence. Slowly and surely, times are a-changing at my crib as well. The relationship between Ma Dukes and I is getting back to a respectable plateau. Not saying it was on no Ike/Tina biz -- but seeing eye to eye was not our strong characteristic.

I see this only as an end to the immature, irresponsible lifestyle of Mr. Clark... and the beginning of the growth, beautification, mature, responsible, loving legacy of Mr. Clark.

I will leave you with this -- "My dreams shall flourish and my heart shall rise -- in my mind anything is possible. I am grateful for my life. I am blessed to have love. I am who I am, because of God -- and it is His will to make sure that I be the best that I possibly can."

Amen.

Friday, May 27, 2005

"Tag... You're It..."

-- May 27th, 2005 --

I was tagged by a friend of mines, Dayrell -- while she is out there West Coastin' it. SO... Here goes my top ten favorite things..

Let's get the countdown started off with the number 10...

10. Eating grapes, apples, pears and peaches.
-- Reason being is that I am in the mode to get healthier, so I can live to be 124 and my girlfriend/wife can live to be 124 and 5 months.

9. Going to work at Dairy Mart.
-- I like going because it's third shift, I really don't have to do much of anything... but it's not the best place to be when you want to spend time with that special someone during the weekend.

8. Daydreaming.
-- Ahh, you thought that this would be higher on the list. But alas, it is not. Reason being that although I do enjoy a good relaxing trip through my imagination -- at the present time, the life that I am living right now is far more entertaining than any fantasy that I can really conjure up. I'd rather some of my fantasies become reality, seriously -- it just takes money to make them come true.

7. Potato Chips.
-- I love food. I think I eat too much. I do not want to look like this right here, before I'm 30. But I cannot resist chips. Pringles, Lays, Cheetos, Fritos, Doritos -- any other itos, too!

6. Summer.
-- My favorite time of the year. When you can do all of your vacationing and whatnot. I love playing ball in the Summer, things just seem better in the warm weather. The breezes are even the business. My next goal soon after N.Y.C. is to take that special lady on a special redezvous.

Which leads me into...

5. Traveling.
-- New York City, Manhattan, Harlem, BK. Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower (I am just kidding) -- Empire State Building. Although, I may not be spending a week or longer there, it is my goal to do more sightseeing. Try new foods. It'll be the bomb with great friends and the accompanying of a beautiful, soulful, great, beautiful, Black Queen -- G.P.

4. Deep Conversations.
-- Hell, any conversation for that matter. Those who know me, know that I love to talk and can do a pretty good job of making a convo last for longer than a minute.

3. Attention.
-- My wife says that I am an "attention whore" -- that I crave the spotlight with a furious fervor that eclipses most celebrities vanity. She's right. LOL!

2. TV, Books, Movies, and Video Games [Entertainment].
-- I've gotten into books, with the G&K Book Club (Founded Jan. 2005) -- I have always loved TV and Movies. It is imperative that I see "Crash," "Star Wars III," and "Batman Begins". Not really a fan of remakes -- although "The Longest Yard" looks funny (can't really go wrong with Chris Rock and Adam Sandler). But I really don't think I will be seeing the new Willy Wonka movie -- I thought it was going to be sort of a sequel (in my opinion, would've been better) -- to see how Charlie now runs the Chocolate Factory. Superman will be shitty. The Fantastic Four, eh... I love how they got The Thing to look, but I think that it'll do peanuts when compared to these three movies.

....and now, drumroll please...

[drum roll]

...The number one most favoritests thing to do in the life of K-Star the Great, aka Mr. Clark is...

................
..............
............
..........
........

Sucks that you have to wait, huh?

......
....
...
..
.

1. Spend time with my wife, G.P. [she's hilarious, she's my heart], my nephews, and my friends and certain familia whenever the time and pleasure arises.
-- They're family till the end. I have their backs. My loyalty is to them only second to God. That is not a slight to my family, I do love them, I truly do. I just don't have much fun with them like do with these individuals. And as a collective, I know that they have my back and won't do anything to hurt or harm my heart. So, for that I love you all.


Kind of long, but those are my top ten favorite things. Don't hurt me if I should've put something else down. I was just coming off of the dome with that one. Be Blessed and Stay Righteous.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

"Industry Rule No. 4080"

-- May 26th, 2005 --

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"...so many catz is shaddddyyyyyyy..."

I know that ain't the real quote from the song, so y'all Hip-Hop fiends don't crucify me, yet. I just learned today that you NEED to be on your P's and Q's whenever you're dealing with anyone. I was taught an important rule by a number of people. Get a CONTRACT, FIRST! Hahahaha... I would go into a listing of who to thank and all -- but I'm doing my part of being incognegro. Those people know who they are -- thank you for your help and assistance. As well as negligence -- if it wasn't for you -- none of this would've been possible. Not hating, trust in that -- just know that as a collective I have people who want to see me shine and just because it's not in the cards for this endeavor -- I live in a brightly lit room with nothing but open doors. My baby knows what I'm talking about.

New York approaches more day by day, so be on the look out for my second trip to the Rotten Apple. May document this trip -- it'll be slick if I can. Congratulations to my Lady Love for the opportunities that continue to be available for her. You are truly blessed. As am I to have you by my side. I validated you for success, remember! So, when you become bigger than this one right chea, don't forget about me -- I can be your Jamal. I love you.

Already hipped y'all to the updates, so just keep your eyes open. It's my year since Chappelle is on hiatus.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

"The Proof's in the Pudding"

-- May 26th, 2005 --

Hey, for those who hit me up asking where the post is at I will gladly point you in the direction of a link. Common Sense would've told you to "go" find it yourself -- because the truth is out there. Also, We-The-Voices is currently on a hiatus -- so those who love reading it, there will be another update then you'll just have to be patient. Shout out to all those cats doing it on the site -- Panama, Harold M. Clemens, Milos, and the other beautiful souls who write for one of the best independent publications that has come out in a while.

As mentioned below I'm working on a piece about white people being the new niggers -- so we'll see how that turns out. For those who live locally, go head and cop the newest issue of UHURU Magazine (found exclusively on KSU campus) -- it's a nice little publication for some black students to put out. What else is new with the kid? Umm... be on the lookout for the return of those "True" School Hip-Hop artists -- Brand Nubian, Little Brother, and some kid by the name of Rhymefest. Truly after a good showing from Kanye, John Legend, and Common (not excluding Mos, but most people didn't get it -- right now Kweli is on my shit list) -- it's seems like another movement is in the works.

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"..so sexy, isn't she?!"

Coming soon, back to the New York area -- myself; K-Star the Great with my partner-in-crime, G-Money the Diva. So, be on the lookout. I think maybe that we'll be in Brooklyn around the time (only disclosed to those who are going to be out there with us, nah'mean..). Babe, I love you -- you're doing big things as well as I. I got your back... just as you have mines. I'm your Stedman (aka Jamal), and you're my Oprah. Short, simple, and sweet -- I love you. Keep up the great work! I only ask that you don't forget about me when Larenz Tate and Bryce Wilson are knocking down your door. I love you, Lady Love.

Other than that folks -- continue to be on the lookout for Revolutionary Thoughts.com -- trying to make things happen. But you know what they say -- talk is cheap, the proof is in the pudding!

"Living Up To Expectations"

-- May 25th, 2005 --

Greetings everybody. Glad that you're here. I'll keep this brief.

Be on the lookout for that interview with the brother Com Sense at AOL Black Voices. Show review at HHDX.com with the Roots and Floetry (their new joints for the album is mean...). What else -- I'll be working on a piece hopefully someone will pick that up -- are white folks the new niggers now? Lastly, be on the lookout for something about R. Kelly. Revolutionary Thoughts.com is in the works right now as well.

Until then... Be Blessed and Stay Righteous.

Friday, May 13, 2005

"The Evolution of Us" Part II

-- May 13th, 2005 --

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Life is never pretty. In fact, it's pretty gully -- filled with adversity and triumphs all strewn in the same wavelength. You rise and you fall. One day you're on top, the next you're not. The evolution of you and I, Ms. P. -- is a beautiful thing. Next month marks the half-way mark to a short-term goal. Next month is the celebration of your birth. In a few days, you will not be millions of miles away, you'll be right around the way. The test truly begins (read the last post to understand why this test can be passed or failed depending on you and I...). I am not in it to lose you. I am not a part of so many people in your life to be on the outs. I am yours. A big sentiment that should say a lot. Especially given the fact that too many men nowadays are looking for the quick hit rather than the long stay. My father seems to be able to do it with all the malarky that comes up (or doesn't) in their relationship. I mean, he deals with my mom -- and THAT IS a handful. Your parents have made it work for what, 40 years?!!? Here's to 40 more with them. You come from a great background -- and even if mines isn't as sturdy, I am not them. I have proven it to be such and that I can and will be the man that needs to be in your life.

Here's to the evolution of us -- that we can continue to blossom and learn more about each other and that our differences doesn't deter us from loving each other for life. It's going to take my lifetime to love you and I gladly give my all to accomplish that feat. It's going to take my lifetime to learn you and I am definitely a life-long learner. All of those feelings that I have for you is right here -- in my heart -- and I love you for life. Please understand that and cherish. Let it be known how you feel -- show me, tell me, I need to hear it from you as I say it to you -- it's just a beautiful thing to revel in the fact that love is our nest and that we're soon to call it home.

I love you. Nothing can stop that or change that. You're my guardian angel. I love you.

"Summertime Love" (bka "Fear of a Broken Heart")

-- May 13th, 2005 --

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The weather is finally cooperating with people's emotions. Friends and family are all warm-hearted and light-spirited with one another. Love usually runs amuck during this time of the year -- or is it being single? Hmm... I think more people are single during the warm weather than when it's cold. Which puts me in a compromising feeling.

I am a good man. I feel that when all the chips are down I treat my woman with the love and respect that she deserves and needs in her life. But I feel as if I am letting my insecurities getting the best of me. No rehab can help, I really do not know what can -- all I know is that I have to beat it before it beats me. Because if I lose, I lose everything -- the wife, the future, the love, the companionship -- all due to an insecurity called...

"Fear of a Broken Heart"

I don't know why it is rearing its ugly head now, especially when things are going so beautifully between myself and the missus. She's about to be closer to me, we get to spend a lot more QT building our relationship, and I keep inserting my foot into my mouth. I know, I know -- simple prescription -- stop doing it, stupid. But, lately, it hasn't failed to amaze me how much I can ruin a good thing. Whether that is from me saying it vocally or my actions. The surprising factor in all of this is that she still is staying with me. The goal in all of this: marriage. A beautiful union between two people. What is the cause behind this fear, you ask? Is it other guys? What could it possibly be, you inquire?

My first thought was that maybe that I am giving too much and wanting too much of the same. That old adage that you get out of it what you put into it -- type thing, ya know? I try to challenge myself to keep my woman guessing and anticipating, so that she knows that somehow, someway, K-Star the Great will truly come through with some sort of surprised blessing. I pride myself on that fact of wanting to be the best in her eyes and accomplishing truly amazing things. Whether it's simplistic and didn't cost me a dime or if it was truly elaborate and I broke the bank -- the thing that remains constant is that she didn't have any idea of what was to come. I don't know how to diagnose that -- because I love seeing her smile and I love how she feels when she is like that.

My second thought was that maybe what was thrown out into the world is soon to come true. You know how they say that you can sometimes speak things into existence? Well, there is a timeline put upon relationship and it may or may not come true. I pray to the Lord above that that is not his Will -- I really do. Investing your all and then some into something that you are physically and mentally (almost there financially) ready to spend the last days of your life with is a sad thing if it doesn't pay off heavily. I love the woman I am with. She's the only one who suits me the way that makes me feel comfortable and happy. I am not the type to turn my back on a GREAT thing, especially when she's created a better man out of me. So, the question is -- is the expiration on our relationship true...? Or is it all depending on us -- her and I to make it all work out?

My last thought was that it's me. That it is all my fault (in a sense, follow me...) -- that by me being negative or a HUGE worrywart (i.e. insecurity) will cause her to give up, throw up her hands and say, "I'm done." My last thought is that eventually, I will shoot my own self in the foot. I will be the murderer in my own tragic comedy. That I had the ideal thing that I was looking for and didn't know how to accept the fact that "thing" wanted me. It would devastate me to have that happen... but I see the affects happening already. Somehow, someway there seems to be some space between us -- whether through communication or affection, something is lacking. And I am the cause in it -- somehow. I made a promise that on my part to pick up the adrenaline and I will be a man of my word.

To finalize this post -- do not be a captive of your own fears, like I am. Only you (I) can release yourself from the torture that you (I) implement. To those who may be involved with someone like this (me), please try to understand. Please try to be there. Make it known more than anything that you may do for that day, anything that may happen, period -- how you feel. Because what it all boils down to is that I need your love (G.P.), I need your compliments, I need your energy, time and focus to help break me out of whatever it is that my mind is concocting. The truth is -- I need to know that I have you. Essentially that is what man's fear is -- that he doesn't have 100% of the "thing" that he desires. And when a man begins to question what the future holds (whether vocally or mentally) it affects everything.

I have never been afraid of the choice I have made by being in this relationship and I am not turning down or away from a great thing that I have with a great woman who'll give me the World if I just have the balls to ask for it. I know I am still rambling, but bear with me -- I'm thinking as I go along.

Before anyone thinks that I have doubts in my relationship, let me emphatically state that -- I know where my heart lies. It's just difficult to combat the feeling of wanting someone so badly that you may end up ruining what you already have. It's called pace. And I think that my heart is not catching up to the love that we have already established and reveling in it. I don't know. These are my thoughts and I am expressing them as such. But in the end, G.P., I love you so much and I need you as my wife to make life complete. You are the best and I can only continue to show you that you are.


Wednesday, May 11, 2005

"Where Have The Children Gone?"

-- May 11th, 2005 --

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Guilty pleasures... we all have them. For some it's chocolate, for others it may be sex, or even money. Yours truly likes "The Maury Povich" show. I mean yes, it is a degrading, immoral, depraved show that spotlights mainly minorities (trailer park trash included) in situations that no one with common sense and a belief in God would EVER find themselves involved in. I keep saying to myself that I won't watch this show no more because it may lower my sperm count. But I keep's a-watching.

I titled this "Where Have The Children Gone?" for this very matter -- our society is sick and delusional. It is very apparent that the parenting system, home training, latchkey watchdogs, and more are all responsible in some way or fashion in the destruction of our moral fabric. Take for an example -- a 14 year old girl losing her virginity when she was 13 brings an 18 year old (accompanied by mom) onto the show for a paternity test. There's the typical (yet, hilariously plotted) montage of the guy (or girl) saying how they "really" feel about the person who "brought" them here. What makes it really funny is when the mother or parent is accompanying the child. They are vicious and allow their child to do the same. So, anyways, after the belittling comments (mind you she is 14 years old) -- the girl angrily wants the boy to come out on stage.

"Get the bleep, bleep, bliggity-bleep-bleep out here, bitch!" (You know they always let one cuss word slide... for whatever reason that is, I don't know...) The young man comes onto the stage to a barrage of boos and curse words from the audience. Which prompts the young man to do the one finger salute to the audience making it a give-and-receive fight between him and the audience. Already angered because he believes that he's not the childs' father and that he doesn't like this girl for a various of reasons. Now, I've watched the show a lot and there has been a lot of excuses as to why the man can NOT possibly be the girl's baby daddy. From low sperm count to having one testicle, man has created a myriad of excuses as to why they can't be the one.

Anyhoo, back to the story -- so the girl is going ballistic, calling him every name in the book, even the boy's momma can't step in to defend it. At 18, the boy seems very composed, only stating that it can't be his baby because she lied about her age, slept with his cousin or brother (they bleeped out the name and family relation), and two of his homeboys. When Maury inquired if she indeed, did, lie about her age -- she said that that was true. She said that she was 16 when he was 16 (She looked hella old too). The argument continues -- gets heated, and blows below the belt are thrown. Maury has enough (gotta love it!) -- he has the results in hand. Let's go to the play by play.

Maury: In the results of (insert month of baby and name here) -- "Tony"...
Baby Momma: ...yes...

Maury: ...you are...
Baby Momma (stands up in joy): YES... I told you, you son-of-a....

Maury: NOT... the father...
Baby Momma: NOOOOOOOOOO.... WWHHHHHHYYYYY!!!!!

The girl rises and falls hard as the air is seemingly taken from her soul. The proud, beaming, "baby" daddy -- laughs and begins to pop-n-lock right there on stage. The coup d'etat is running up to the 14 year old girls face and calling her every name in the book as he clicks his heels and runs back to his world of "freedom". ...All at 18... still a child left without a father. A young girl turned into a young mother with a lifetime of regret and mistakes looking her in the eyes for the rest of her natural life. Sucks... but that seems to be the plight with a lot of our young kids nowadays. And they're proud of it. At a club that I went to with my girl, the DJ said, "All the ladies celebrating Mother's Day (yes we were at the club of Mommy Day) -- put your hands up in the air and say OOWWWW!" Girls from the window to the mu'fuckin' wall rose their hands. I shook my head and was like, "Wow..." Too sad. Now, that is not to say that these women aren't proud of their "accomplishments" -- all I am saying that there is a destruction of family's here -- due to irresponsibility.

When I was in High School, the girls who'd bring their babies in to show them off to their friends were instantly made fun of. Nowadays, you have songs (Baby Mama - by Fantasia), you have movies, et cetera all saying in one form or another that it's cool to go out and do the do with whomever just as long as you get yours before he/she gets theirs. It a sad state of affairs that we live in. I, for one, do not wish to be a member of the Baby Daddy Card-carrying Club. So, the question I ask you is, where have the children gone?

"National Love-Your-Woman Day"

-- May 11th, 2005 --

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I am trying to get Congress to ratify a new holiday. One where good women everywhere are rewarded and serviced for their great efforts. One in particular (shown above) is the motive behind the idea of this "holiday". G-Money, you are a blessing no longer disguised and I love what you mean to me.

Without putting too much out there (cue the "I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me" music) -- I think you're the best thing since slice bread and the invention of the wheel. You a critical part of my success and I thank God for you in my life. I love you, I love you, and I love you.

But as far as the holidays goes...

Why not take a day just to celebrate the woman in your life; whether that is your daughter, girlfriend, wife, fiancé, mother, grandmother, so on and so forth. She deserves it. Especially if she's a good one. I mean nowadays negativity is being exploited so much that it's absurd to even think that there is any good news to be heard. So... treat the woman in your life special -- it says alot about the man that you are. So... to all those good men and women out there, live in the light, stay positive, and stay challenging love -- it's a beautiful thing, y'all.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

"Friend or Foe"

-- May 4th, 2005 --

Not really going to go in-depth, just have a question for those who may or may not visit this site and read the content. The question is: "Can a bond be stronger than family ties?"

Hopefully some people will give their comments, I'll be back to talk about it later.

Also, check out that article written by yours truly at We The Voices. Also, peep out my colleagues, they write some good ish. I also got an interview with Slim Thug there as well. Be Blessed and Stay Righteous.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Grad School, Baby!!!!"

-- May 3rd, 2005 --

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On the eve of the 35th Anniversary of the shooting at Kent State University, it is a blessing and privilege to know that my Lady Love has been accepted for Grad School!!!!

YAY!!!

Now for those who don't know -- this is a big thing. Without going into the specifics, let me just say to my Lady Love that I am proud of you. You have accomplished so many things and I am glad that the trend is continuing. I know the Fam is proud as well, I can hear your mom jumping up and down yelling from the window to the wall!

Short and sweet, just like you are, Ma. I love you. Continue to strive for your dreams and I'll be right beside you being your biggest supporter!

Monday, May 02, 2005

"Omnium Finis Imminet"

-- May 2nd, 2005 --

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"The end is near..."

Or is it? That is the question at hand. Tsunamis, Earthquakes, mudslides, natural disasters coming at an alarming rate. Those hurricanes in Florida were no joke. Could it be the result of how man is treating the environment and Mother Nature fighting the ongoing changes? Could it be that something big is awaiting on the horizon -- sort of like that Sam Cooke joint? Or does God have a REALLY GIGANTOID surprise waiting for us.

NBC debut its new show, "Revelations" a few weeks ago and it pulled in the masses. The first episode starts with a nun in Mexico witnessing an image of Christ on the cross seemingly formed by the clouds. But it is a cloudless day, perfectly clear and sunny. More astonishing is the fact that the head of Christ turns to acknowledge the crowd!!! I would go into more details but if you want the blow by blow as far as the episodes is concerned -- go here.

This brings me to my question, "Are we truly living in the last days?"

People are more nuttier now (here and abroad) than they probably have ever. Times are rough, Bush certainly has to be the devil... I mean -- they have pictures...






War. One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse -- everywhere you turn in some form or fashion you see that we are in a wartime situation. Iraq. Famine, Disease and Death are "next".

This is not really going in-depth -- my thoughts are that God does indeed have a surprise awaiting the masses. I mean yesterday it snowed here in Ohio -- May 2nd, 2005 -- supposedly Spring-to-Summer type weather and it snows!!!

All in all, this sucks -- 2004 and 2005, so far, have been the best years of my life. I have made so many big moves and changes in my life and it "supposedly" is going to come to an end. That blows! What do you think? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.