Sunday, November 07, 2004

"A Beautiful Struggle"

-- November 7th, 2004 --

"...But she a Gemini, so stay on that friendly side,
She'll put that look on you that's like someone's friend just died..."

Talib Kweli -- "Black Girl Pain"

Shouts out to my friend J for the picture. :)

Relationships take work. Hard work. You have to be about your business in every sense of the word. Funny how life revolves around similarities. A few months ago, I was going through that whole "funk" about why am I single... oh, woe is me type mess. But gone are those days.

A new day is dawning...

It surprises me as to how many people do not value what a relationship truly is. This is not talking from just a "Maury Povich" perspective. Those who I have let in or around my inner circle have subtly acknowledged the things that I see in them. Doesn't make sense? Well, let me paint the picture.

My friend constantly goes through the trials and tribulations of a relationship that he's not even in. I mean -- him and his chick are on-and-off -- hence the problem that he continually puts himself in. He's not with her. So... some of the things that he goes through isn't really necessary. Like tonight for instance -- she was wondering about his whereabouts, upset that he didn't call her, and furious that he spent his time with someone who was considered a friend.

It is interesting to see what we will put ourselves through in the name of "love". All of this has been an eye-opener to me, in regards of what I now know what my limits are now -- being single... BUT have no earthly idea what I would put up with if I was in love. I know what I let slide by and what I hid deep down in my heart when it occurred, but who's to say that it is different after three years? I would only hope and believe that I wouldn't have to go through what others go through in a relationship to THAT extreme.

Which makes me come to the conclusion that I may not be all THAT ready for a relationship. But will welcome "dates" as they come along. :) I want to be able to give the strength and commitment that the woman whom I'm with deserves. I also want to be able to have that sense of self to understand that a woman whom I choose to spend time with would appreciate me as much as I do her. But all of this is meaningless right now, seeing as how I am not being approached in that manner. :)

It's all good though, because life... love... all in all, is a beautiful struggle (thanks for the quote, Kweli) -- and I am going to enjoy it all as it comes. (Seventeen more days till my 22nd B-Day -- those who know me know where to send gifts, those who wish to do the same, get at me!)

On a final note -- to you... I want to let you know that I am interested in you. My curiosity is peaked by more than your physical. As I would hope to not be in the same vein as those other "Scorpios" who have infiltrated your past. I write this in hopes that I am not rushing into anything other than creating a more fulfilled and genuine friendship between two like-minded individuals.

Sidenote -- Since you are stealing my idea... I have to keep SOME type of tabs on you. :)

Lastly, I would like to know that I will do my best to try and not be like others, but still respect you and be honest with you like all the rest do and should.


Blogger JReal said...

I feel ya, bruh. And for what is worth, I'll say that NO ONE is truly ready for a relationship. Thus continual work is required to make relationships worthwhile. I do have one bit of advice, though. Enjoy every female in your life while you're single. Whether it's just an infatuation type thing, or you have true, down for you, friends that are female... enjoy them. Once you start that serious relationship, those female friendships are going to be a serious strain to maintain. Honestly, most of them won't survive. I've found that my natural attraction toward women and their spirits does major damage to my lady's security, and I've had to alter who I am in order to help her maintain that sense of being "special." N-E-Who, just my two cents... love and love hard, man. Good luck!

November 8, 2004 at 6:09 AM

Blogger Dayrell said...

I agree with you K as well as brotha Kweli. THE STRUGGLE is indeed very the same time it is powerful. For it is a blessing in disguise. (A concept that I go by every SINGLE day!)

And in response to relationships, I think that the love jones can (sometimes) be very tricky to the mind (and eye). I've been in this circumstance MANY times myself as a matter of fact.

Therefore, when you look at the big picture, it all boils down patience. Patience is virtue (when dealing with the love game). No doubt! I learn that a looong time ago. :)

But, I'll catch up with you though...

November 9, 2004 at 2:18 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

..beautiful, i suppose ~Xotic_N_Blk

November 14, 2004 at 3:45 PM


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