Monday, July 19, 2004

"I Complete Me..."

-- July 19th, 2004 --

Solana Pyne writes a very good article about the current situation with the youth here in America and our financial status (or lack thereof). I suggest that if you have some time -- you read it.

I am amazed at myself -- two posts in one day. I am really trying to get my swagger back with this writing. When God gives you a talent, you gotta abuse it sometimes, I guess. :)

It's surprising to see that during the Summer you have more single people walking around than during the Winter months. Figures, hot cocoa can't be the only thing to warm your spirit, heh-heh. I love Black Women. As previously stated -- I thought that I cared deeply (i.e. love) for another. My instincts warned me correct as I figured out that that was not the person for me. Too much hastle, too much everything. Not that everything is bad, it's only that way when it's strictly negative. I am writing this to profess a new type of love -- a love mainly for myself. I feel as though I have yet to become the Man that I see in other people's eyes. I think that I am now comfortable with the idea of really being... single... *gasp* -- Maybe so, but you can't tell me (nor anyone for that matter) -- that not having someone to hold onto into the far reaches of the night DOES NOT bother anyone... because it does...

Maybe I am too vain or too callous in my appreciation of others? Or maybe I have a feeling of self-doubt in the worth of the person who is fighting for my affection. But what I've learned in the (going on...) three years that I have been single versus the three years that I was in a relationship is this -- If I am not willing to put 110% into it, you only get one chance. Why fight a losing battle? Some would call me an ass-hole for thinking and acting that way -- but I beg to differ. I mean, who wants to be with a woman (or man) who constantly nagging you on things that really carry no weight? Who wants to be with someone or show interest to someone who doesn't seem like she's even as half as interested in you as you are in her/him?

Maybe I am asking for too much. I have had in my short time since turning 18 and being single to learn that those who compromise what they deserve for what they desire lose out in the long run. During the course of that time, I have had those who -- in my mind -- fit the bill, those who I thought weren't good enough, and even those who I didn't realize until the door slammed behind them. All in all, I know one thing -- it all happens for a reason. The catch is -- YOU determine the way it unfurls.

The final thought of this is -- I am understanding what the HELL it is that I want for myself. If a Woman cannot understand that and add to this progress -- then she's necessary for someone else. I would totally understand if the roles were to be reversed. It is a progress that I am willing to traverse with someone or by my lonesome... and I'll do it to the best of my ability.

Strong and Dedicated is what I am,
Daring you to beat me to the top is what I say unto you,
Black and Bold is the inner workings of my soul,
Realizing the strength inside of me,
Do you have what it takes to tame me?


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